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Alex30214
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Name: Eva
Country: United States
State: Georgia
Birthday: 10/16/1900
Gender: Female
Interests: Art,
Being a dork,
Being a Pagan,
Being able to eat dairy products without geting sick,
Being happy,
Being the best I can,
Being unique,
Candles,
Debate,
Finding out more about my religion,
Getting people to realise that my nickname is Alex because my middle name is Alexandria,
girls,
going to sleep,
guys,
Having fun,
Learning German and French,
Making life fun for everyone
Making my own clothes,
Making others happy,
Meditation,
Music,
Mythology,
Not being afraid to tell people my true feelings,
Pepsi,
Playing with my kitty cat,
Poetry,
and Wiccan jewelry making.
Fav.Bands: 30 Seconds to Mars, A Perfect Circle, Coheed and Cambria, Dead Poetic, Evanescence, Flogging Molly, Motion City Soundtrack, System of a Down, Three Days Grace
Expertise: Being myself, I guess... and screwing up... I haven't screwed up lately though... Thank the Goddess...
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Art
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  Alex30214
MSN: princessarwen000@netscape.net
Yahoo:  princessarwen000
Jabber: umm.. what?
Member Since:
6/10/2004
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| Gah... Today was horrible... ... All I could think about was that today will be the last day for 2 years that I get to see Alex... I don't know if I can stand it.. He knows I'm strong and I try to be... I just can't imagine it without him... I can't.. I'm going to skip tomorrow... At least, I'm going to try to... If my dad says no, then I can't... I won't be very happy though... Probably crying and stuff... If you want to try and cheer me up, that would be appreciated... Just talking to me and being nice would help... I dunno... Alex, if you read this, I love you and I miss you so much... gah.. I miss you so incredibly much.. .. I'm going to go before I depress someone... Good night..
Oh yea.. one more thing... I hate radio stations.. After I took him home, the f'ing radio station decided to play all these sad songs about broken hearts and people leaving.. I was like FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID THING!!!  gah.... | | |
| Did you know that if you press 4-3-2-1 on a coke machine (the one that sells fruitopias and stuff) it'll bring up a menu and you can program it so that all the prices are higher or lower? Apparently you can also program it to give you money... I shall try that tomorrow... Now I'm going to go help Alex pack.. He leaves for good on Friday...
UPDATE: I just realised that tomorrow will be the last day I spend in school with Alex.... god... I hate this... I realised that I always sound really bitchy when I write... sorry... but life sucks... I want Alex... I want him so bad... I am so f'in emo... why do I always cry..
Post this in my comments::
put an x in the () for each you would do for me.
() go out with me?
() give me your number?
() have sex with me?
() let me kiss you?
() watch a movie with me...even a really sappy one?
() let me take you out to dinner?
() drive me for once cuz I always drive
() take a shower with me?
() be my bf/gf?
() have a fling with me?
() Listen to me if I called you crying even if you were out with all of your friends?
() buy me a drink like a sobe or soda?
() take me home for the night?
() Would you let me sleep in your bed?
() Sing car kareoke w/ me?
() sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
() give me oral?
() re-post this for me to answer your questions?
() Let me give you a piggyback ride?
() Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere | | |
| Today my self-consciousness was brought up... so I decided to tell everyone why I'm so self-conscious...
- I went to a German school with German kids and German teachers for kindergarten... I couldn't speak much German, so I was really left out...
- I guess it truly started in elementary school... I had really poofy hair and for some odd reason the kids decided to make fun of me by calling me "horse-hair" (which is why I never wear my hair down anymore...). I had no friends and I was always made fun of, therefore my life was a living hell... which started my binge eating...
-In middle school I was sorta chubby and this guy told me that I was too ugly and that he didn't want to talk to me, which really hurt me... I was still made fun of a lot and could never fit in... I finally became "gothic" and stopped talking to everyone and became semi-suicidal...
- My mother told me I was fat my whole entire life and that I needed to lose weight, so the summer after 6th grade I because anorexic and lost about 20lbs before I came back to school...
-In highschool.. I stopped caring and gave up on trying to fit it because I know now that I'm different and always will be, so everyone can deal with it... I'm not considered gothic anymore, but most consider me "Eva" or "semi-punk", but I don't mind.. that's good for me... I'm not anorexic anymore and lately things have been doing okay...
Well that's my story for the evening... have a great day...
Random Quote that applies to Eva's life: "If you run from conflict, it eventually finds you. If you give in to conflict, it grows even stronger and more emboldened. The way to end conflict is to deal with it. And the way to deal with it is to overwhelm it with a positive, determined purpose. When you're merely fighting against something, the fighting never ends. To permanently get beyond the conflict, work to replace it with something far more valuable and positively compelling for all concerned. That is certainly not easy. It requires commitment, persistence, and much effort in the face of difficult challenges. Yet in the end, it is the far better choice. For rather than perpetuating the conflict, you will have removed any reason for it to ever reoccur. There is a higher, positive purpose that will replace the destructive purpose of the conflict. Do the work to bring everyone to it."
-- Ralph Marston
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| Alex is moving back to Canada (in 4 days)... I found out about a minute ago... I hate crying... He really and honestly was the first true love of my life, mabye the only... and now I lost him... I'll never see him again (if I do it'll be in a year or 2)... I want someone to tell me that it'll be okay and I want to be held... I'm balling like a baby.. I hate this... I really do... I don't know how much longer I can stand this... It's a constant depression with my life... I can't be happy and him leaving makes it a whole lot worse... I told him to go... It'll be better for him... Better education and better family... Mabye then he'll pass his classes... Why is this xanga filled with stupid depressing thoughts... I hate myself and I hate my life... All I ever do is be depressed and it doesn't help anyone or anything... I have no real friends (cept for a few, Elizabeth is included in those few) and I have no real love in this stupid metal box I call a heart... I wish I could be happy and I wish I could prevent people from hating me.. I don't know.. Mabye I'lljust drop out of school, then you guys won't have to deal with me... Mabye that's best... I'm going to go job searching... I need to fill my time with anything possible... I don't want to think anymore... I'm a smart girl, but I don't want the knowledge... If you thought I was a bitch before... Wait until I seclude myself from this world and never enter it again...
Laura: I'm sorry... I know you love him too... I know you want to be with him... I'm sorry you can't be now.. I'm sorry that he has to leave... I wish you could have had the chance... I'm sorry I'm so fucked up.... I'm so sorry... | | |
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